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Converted from paper version of the Broad Ripple Gazette (v05n18)
Friends helping friends - by Candance Lasco
posted: Aug. 29, 2008

by Candance Lasco

Your best friend has just been diagnosed with breast cancer and is facing a long road of chemotherapy. Your colleague's spouse is called up to serve in Bagdad. Your sister finds out she is having triplets. In times such as these, we try to do our best to be supportive, but often feel helpless. What to say? What to do? How to help?
Fran (right), Aimee (left) and grandchildren at the Broad Ripple Farmers' Market in their yellow What Friends Do Shirts.
Fran (right), Aimee (left) and grandchildren at the Broad Ripple Farmers' Market in their yellow What Friends Do Shirts.
image courtesy of Candance Lasco
Quan


The Kandracs were faced with such a situation. In September 2005, Laura Crawley was hospitalized after learning she had a brain tumor. Stephanie Kandrac was best friends with Laura through kindergarten, college and young adulthood, sharing as best friends do. Stephanie came to the hospital daily and started frequent email updates with a list of addresses provided by Laura's family. Fran Kandrac, Stephanie's mother, brainstormed with others for ideas to support and show love. Another childhood friend, Bryan Grimes, volunteered to create a website. Wristbands were ordered to show support. Before long, meals and other helping activities were coordinated via an e-mail account named Laura's Team.
The response to Laura's plight was overwhelming. People stepped up to the plate validating that people are basically good. Over and over people commented that everyone needs a Laura's Team at one time or another. After Laura died, Fran, Stephanie and Aimee Kandrac started WhatFriendsDo.com with the support of several "angels". Through word of mouth, the site grew. Today there are users in all 50 states and the site has been visited by at least 100 countries.
A WhatFriendsDo team was formed to support the Jenkins' family when Dana Jenkins was diagnosed as terminal. Friends and co-workers posted encouraging messages and signed up to cook meals and do other tasks. Dana was a National Roller Skating Champion nine times. As word of Dana's Team reached the skating world, the circle of friends posting on the site grew. Husband, Greg Jenkins, said this testimony to Dana provided uplift on very down days. Greg found writing his feelings and thoughts on the blog purged him of the draining negativity, so he could focus his energy on his beloved Dana. "It was a growing experience for me, because it made me realize how many people cared and were concerned," Greg stated.
According to Fran, key to the WhatFriendsDo philosophy is that, "People need to be able to focus energy on their mountain. Friends can take care of the molehills." Illness and surgery are mountains. A family member serving in the military is another. Natural disasters, such as Indiana's recent floods, are a whole mountain range for many who lost everything they owned. As Americans, we take pride in doing things ourselves. But there are times when all of us need our friends to be there.
A WhatFriendsDo site works this way: A coordinator (family member or close friend) completes a brief registration process, and a "Team website" is created with the level of desired privacy. An easy web tool helps the coordinator customize the site to:
o Coordinate schedules for meals, childcare, errands and other needs.
o Provide information updates via the own Team blog.
o Post photos to keep the Team inspired.
o Provide a guestbook for messages to the friend.
A regular newsletter and online suggestions are provided for the team. Consider these few ideas. Remember the whole family by providing movie passes. If going out isn't feasible, pick up a rental DVD the family has selected and provide popcorn. Don't forget to return the DVDs. Pets are Family, too! Bring a pet treat when you visit. Take a dog for a walk or change the cat litter. Don't ask to mow the lawn, just do it.
Friendships are forged in the Village and the Kandrac family has deep Broad Ripple roots. Fran's late husband, Richard, went to school 66 and graduated from Broad Ripple High School in 1964. Broad Ripple was an important facet of the family's life. Fran tells of Friday night dinners of bread, salad and Renee's french silk pie. There was shopping for shoes at Horin's and buying penny candy at G.C. Murphy's. When the leaves turned gold, watching the annual homecoming parade was special. Aimee has very fond memories of playing on the rocket ship slides at the park. Today you can often find mother, daughter, and grandchildren selecting the freshest veggies at the Saturday Farmers' market or feeding the canal ducks.
Fran told me she is continually amazed how friends hold you up, push you and support you. I am amazed at the Kandrac creation, WhatFriendsDo. Laura is certainly smiling upstairs.
Fran, Aimee and Stephanie Kandrac literally put into practice the Saint Thomas Aquinas saying, "There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship."
WhatFriendsDo is currently free, but Fran, Aimee and Stephanie need sponsors. If you want to be a sponsor please contact them at:
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
General inquiries: contact@whatfriendsdo.com Sponsor: sponsor@whatfriendsdo.com
FranKandrac@whatfriendsdo.com AimeeKandrac@whatfriendsdo.com


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