Our house has recently seen an invasion of Stink Bugs! They are under normal circumstances a real nuisance, but during my pandemic "Stay At Home" I have tried to turn this pesky headache into a hobby. Now days I hunt them as a pastime or challenging game. Stink Bugs (like the Corona Virus) originated in Asia and have migrated all over the planet. They have no natural predators and scientists (until their attention was diverted in March) had been feverishly working on how to combat these little devils. The problem familiar to any homeowner who has encountered the slow moving armored tanks, is their awful smell! If you bother one of them, you will certainly regret it because they secrete a horrible stench!

The benefits of hunting Stink Bugs is however worth the risk. This new pastime keeps me from watching bad TV, adds steps to my Fitbit, keeps my senses alert, and awakens an almost primal instinct within me as I go on the prowl. The state requires no fees and there is no license requirement for the Spring or Fall season. There is no training, special equipment or clothing required. The minimal tissue wielding hunter therefor has little investment! Since you cannot dispose of these smelly rascals in the trash, I hold regular burials at sea by flushing them down the commode. I alternate between brief three shot salutes to the full honors 21-gun salute! At prolific times I've even had to resort to mass burial ceremonies! Upon further consideration during these periods of shortages, I've been contemplating how I might be "wasting" bugs as a potential natural resource. Perhaps there is unrealized value in the spent carcasses or even undiscovered genetic structural secrets. If like me, you wonder about the possibilities, I'd like to enlist your help in pondering the potential of these arthropods. I'd like to unleash the collective power of my friends to consider the possibilities and welcome your input and thoughts. Here are a few of my own propositions just off the top of my head:

1. Wear bugs to encourage six-foot social distancing.
2. Spread dead Stink Bug carcasses around garden beds to deter rabbits and other pests.
3. Possible treatment for COVID-19 either by injection or orally.
4. Provide a possible alternative to Rhinoceros horn as an aphrodisiac.
5. Offer as new condiment for trendy foodies
6. Possible mascot and souvenir item for rock band or professional sports team

The possibilities are probably endless and with everyone's help we can make something really big happen, huge even, very soon, very, very soon, if not sooner. Everyone is doing an incredible job in this war against the Stink Bug, so I know we'll come out even stronger. We are making more progress than ever before so I know we will prevail. We are all in this together and who knows, some of these things might work; some of them might not. Who knows, but it won't hurt to try.