Those close to me know about my state record. I speak of it often.

It was 1986 and I was playing varsity baseball for Triton Central High School in Shelby County. It was my sophomore year, and I played first base.

In practice, the coach worked with me on my pitching. All of our pitchers were juniors and seniors, so by working with me, he was thinking about the future of the team. I threw with decent velocity; however, my breaking ball did not break. Also, when I attempted to throw a change-up, I would often throw the ball over the backstop. I often felt sorry for our coach, as he had made such a questionable investment in our team's future.

Well into the season we were playing a home game against the small school of Shenandoah, which had mighty home run hitters. After two innings we were down 13-0. The coach then brought me in to pitch. It was clear to the team and all involved that our coach had lost all hope of winning. He just wanted to save the arms of the older (and better) pitchers.

When I faced the first batter, I decided to take my chances and throw it down the middle of the plate. The guy clocked a homer over our short left field fence.

The second batter was small and skinny. I thought that he wouldn't do much damage. Big mistake! That little dude hit the ball so far over the center field fence (into the cornfield) that they never found the ball. The umpire reached down to get me a new ball and said, "That wuz tha farthest home run I ever seen!"

I don't remember how I pitched the next batter, but he homered too. The umpire called a time out so he could come to the mound to talk to me. He said, "I'll tell ya how to pitch these guys. I go to all of their home games. Their high school is just 40 miles from my home." It was a little disconcerting for me to realize that my opponents' bigger fan was umpiring the game.

The ump's advice did little good. I gave up seven home runs in just two innings. The next day I learned of my record in a rather large article in the Indianapolis Star.

So, my state record is the following: Most Home Runs Conceded by a Pitcher in a High School Varsity Game in the State of Indiana. This record may never be broken. If it is, maybe the new record holder should give me a call. I will share my sympathy.

And maybe, just maybe, we can share some laughs.