Apparently some people out there think I'm some sort of coffee expert. By "people out there" I mean Gazette readers and by "coffee expert" I mean qualified to publicly speak about coffee. I'm not exactly sure what gave people this idea. After all, I'm usually relating my coffee knowledge foibles. Regardless of how this convincing took place, this past week I actually spoke to the Optimist Club about coffee.

I thought long and hard about what I would say to a group of people who may or may not be interested . Lucky for me, they were quite intrigued - or at least did a good job feigning interest. Several members asked questions, which I did my best to answer on the spot. There is one answer I'd like to re-emphasize: Never store your coffee beans in the refrigerator. This means you! Following these simple rules can ward off the evil enemies of coffee freshness: air, light, heat, and moisture.

Let's first discuss freezing your coffee. Coffee that you just won't use within a week needs to be placed in the freezer - not the refrigerator. Store them as whole beans, not ground. They can be kept in the original packaging if it is a sealed bag. Otherwise, place them in an airtight container. You wouldn't want your coffee tasting like frozen fish sticks, would you? With a large quantity of coffee, it is best to store "week's-worth" portions. You don't want to take coffee in and out of the freezer repeatedly, because condensation can form during the thawing process.

Once the beans are out of the freezer (or never in it to begin with) you should store them in, again, an airtight container. Coffee beans are very porous, and can absorb any flavors around them. In addition, store them in a cool, dry place, preferably in an opaque container. Remember, it is best to take out only what you'll use within about a week's time.

I know most of you out there have someone at home to fight with about where and how the coffee should be stored. If your space sharer insists on placing the coffee in the refrigerator, confront him or her about it - your coffee deserves better. For you passive-aggressive types, cut this article out and display it proudly on your refrigerator (where the coffee does NOT belong). For the more direct types, tell them they're wrong. And tell them I said so. I am, after all, a coffee expert.