We've all heard "Brown (or pink) is the new black." We've even heard "Black is the new black." To that I say, Don't mess with a good thing. If it isn't broke don't try to fix it. Learn to leave well enough alone. Let it be, let it be. You get the point, but someone should clue Coca-Cola in on my sentiments.

Coca-Cola recently launched its new beverage, Coke Blak. At this point, you may be wondering why I'm discussing Coke in a coffee column. Yep, you guessed it. There's coffee in this Coke - Don't get me wrong, I like Coke. And since I write this article and run a coffee shop, you may safely assume that I like coffee. But why, oh why, would anyone want to mix the two of them?

I wish this was the part of the article in which I tell you that Coke Blak is the most delicious beverage I have ever had the pleasure of drinking. But simply, it is not. It isn't the worst drink I've ever had. Let's just say that it's somewhere in the middle - but near the bad end.

Coca-Cola's press release states the following: "Coca-Cola Blak is an invigorating and stimulating blend that has a perfect balance of the effervescent taste sensation of Coca-Cola and natural flavors, with real coffee." I say, Coca-Cola Blak is a drab and insipid collision that has a disharmony of the stagnant taste of flat, three-day-old Coca-Cola and so-called natural flavors, with what no longer resembles delicious coffee.

Coca-Cola VP Marc Mathieu goes on to say, "[it] is not just a flavor extension. It is a blend of unique Coke refreshment with the true essence of coffee and has a rich smooth texture and a coffee-like froth when poured." It is not a flavor extension. It is a flavor abomination. Blak has a thick, molasses-like mouthfeel and the disappointing spittle of flat Coke.

For those of you who would like to decide the status of Coca-Cola Blak for yourselves, it is readily available at most grocery stores. Drink at your own risk.