Twenty years and 40 pounds ago I had rise. I had lift. I could jump. I could sky. I won a slam dunk title at Ball State. To look at me now it is tough to imagine me flying through the air for a rim-rocking jam. You'll have to ask my brother Jim. He'll tell you that I once had hops.

The last time I was at Plumps's Last Shot I was shooting hoops with some friends out back. Doug said, "Why don't you try to jam one?" I looked up at the rim. Ten feet had never looked so high. Then he said, "Why don't you at least try to touch the rim?" I looked up to the rim again. I felt like I would rip my body in two by attempting to jump.

I used to participate in stair climbing contests, and I did very well. I considered it exquisite agony. Now I take the elevator.

Years and pounds ago I ran in 5Ks and 10Ks. And it felt great! Yes, I could run like the wind. Now I just break wind.

These days I am much slower and Earth-bound. So I have learned to appreciate other things. While writing this article, my butt was planted firmly on the couch.